What if others deserve to be blamed? Is there a “right” way to place blame?

1 Peter 4:8Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

We are mistaken if we read this verse to mean that when love “covers” sins, it covers them up by ignoring or excusing them. Loving someone deeply sometimes means first uncovering sin so that it can be covered by forgiveness and reconciliation. Deep love isn’t enabling love; it is a love that sets free.

Matthew 18:15“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.”

Using public confrontation as a first step for dealing with sin is almost sure to fail. It tends to overwhelm the recipient with both personal and public humiliation and leads to a defensive backlash. A personal intervention that expresses the desire to confront the sin privately, out of the sight of others, has a better chance of achieving a good result.

Galatians 6:1If another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.

The divine nature of God’s Word is often evidenced by the completeness of the picture it presents. This passage contains not only instructions for private intervention but also a warning that we also may be tempted by the other person’s sin. Recognizing our own sinfulness promotes humility in helping others recognize theirs.

James 5:19-20If someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back from wandering will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins.

When we realize someone else has sinned, the best response is not to build a case to ensure they are convicted and punished but rather to make an effort to rescue that person from the danger they have wandered into. Bringing someone back involves more than showing someone where they went wrong. It also involves helping them see where their continued wandering will take them.

Ephesians 4:2-4Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future.

We are to lovingly, gently, humbly, and patiently address areas of blame with the goal of restoration and unity. If someone is truly in the wrong, we should confront them—but with the purpose of helping them, not saving our own reputation.

Ephesians 4:31-32Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

When someone wrongs us, we often turn to our stockpile of resources and respond with defensive weapons such as bitterness, rage, and angry words. Instead, we should choose to respond with positive overtures: kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness. The former approach simply generates more blaming; the latter creates room for resolution.