Is the victim of assault or rape responsible in any way for the crime?

Deuteronomy 22:25-26“If the man meets the engaged woman out in the country, and he rapes her, then only the man must die. Do nothing to the young woman; she has committed no crime worthy of death. She is as innocent as a murder victim.”

2 Samuel 13:11-14But as she [Tamar] was feeding him [Amnon], he grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my darling sister.” “No, my brother!” she cried. . . . But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her.

Psalms 73:8They scoff and speak only evil; in their pride they seek to crush others.

Rape is a violent and controlling act against an innocent victim. The victim has no share in the blame and should not be made to feel any guilt. There is no excuse for such a terrible crime.

Hebrews 3:16So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

1 John 3:20Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.

Assault and rape victims often feel “dirty” and blame themselves for what happened. What if I hadn’t worn that dress? What if I hadn’t drunk too much at that party? What if, instead of freezing up, I had resisted more strongly? Sometimes, victims are even told, “It was your own fault you were raped.” This is false. Your actions do not control another person’s choices. The opposite was true: Your rapist was seeking power and control over you. Would Jesus have raped a woman because she was drunk or under-dressed? Absolutely not! Scripture warns us that sometimes our feelings condemn us when God is not condemning us (1 John 3:20). Even if we do have a sin to feel guilty about (for example, drinking too much), the solution to that guilt is not to hide in shame from God or punish ourselves by saying “I deserved what happened afterward.” God loves you, no matter how dirty or guilty you feel. Scripture encourages us to come boldly to the throne of God (Hebrews 3:16)—not because we are deserving, but because he is gracious. He knows our struggles and longs to help us!

Jeremiah 20:18My entire life has been filled with trouble, sorrow, and shame.

Guilt comes from disobedience to God’s laws. Shame comes from human judgments (our own or the judgments of others) and cannot be trusted to reflect God’s opinion accurately. While shame can come from our sins, it may come from social pressures, circumstances, or other experiences instead. The prophet Jeremiah was a faithful follower of God, yet he was rejected by others and experienced deep shame.

Psalm 69:3-4I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched. My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me. Those who hate me without cause outnumber the hairs on my head. Many enemies try to destroy me with lies, demanding that I give back what I didn’t steal.

Galatians 6:7-9Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.

Many victims feel that their assault was a punishment from God for something they did wrong. As a result, their relationship with God becomes full of fear and shame. While God can use trials to correct us, there is a difference between natural consequences for our actions, human evil, and God’s judgment. For instance, the sin of drunkenness might lead to natural consequences (such as being less able to defend yourself), or the sin of immodesty might attract attention from unsavory people, but that does not mean you are inviting rape or assault, nor does it give anyone the right to assault or rape you. If someone took advantage of you, that would not be a natural consequence. That would be someone else’s choice (human evil). If a different person than your assaulter had been present in those same circumstances, you would not have been assaulted. Your assaulter chose to sin, and ultimately you are not responsible for that person’s choice. In our fallen world, many people are hurt by the sin and evil choices of others.