How can a rapist possibly be forgiven? Is granting forgiveness necessary?
Proverbs 21:15Justice is a joy to the godly, but it terrifies evildoers.
Romans 12:19-21Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
Justice is a good thing. It is natural to desire justice for ourselves and those we love. Pursuing justice for rapists here on earth is necessary to protect other innocent people from being hurt. It is a good thing to testify against a rapist. However, Scripture discourages us from seeking revenge, even for a crime so terrible as rape. If we are motivated primarily by hatred of the rapist, rather than concern for the safety of ourselves and others, we may be pursuing revenge more than justice.
Ephesians 4:31Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.
Bitterness only poisons our own souls. For those of us who have been victims of harassment, assault, or rape, the hurt is real and there are scars—physical and emotional. When justice doesn’t happen as it should, when life doesn’t seem fair, that’s when bitterness can consume us. Through our bitterness, we permit the person who assaulted us to maintain a level of power over us, and it’s essential to recognize and deal with that bitterness before it overwhelms us. Otherwise, we will not be able to find healing and move on.
Matthew 5:44“But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!”
Matthew 6:14-15“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Luke 23:34Jesus said,“Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” And the soldiers gambled for his clothes by throwing dice.
Acts 7:59-60As they stoned him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” He fell to his knees, shouting, “Lord, don’t charge them with this sin!” And with that, he died.
This may be the hardest act of the Christian life: forgiving those who have wronged us terribly without any expectation that they will change or even admit what they did. Forgiveness is the only way to purge our souls of the toxins of bitterness and a vengeful spirit. The only way to forgive fully is to understand and accept that Jesus has forgiven our sins, even though we did not deserve it. Only when we seek forgiveness for our sins can we be filled with God’s Spirit. And when we are filled with his spirit’s power, we can find the strength and the grace to forgive others. When you forgive the person who harassed, abused, assaulted, or raped you, you are not saying the hurt isn’t real, or their actions were excusable, or that you will put yourself in a position where you might be harmed again. Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation with the abuser. Forgiving that person means that you refuse to let that person have any more control in your life. The person who hurt you doesn’t need to be asked or told. The act of forgiveness occurs between you and God. Leave your hurt with God and allow his power to heal you from the inside so you can have a fresh start.
