Question 1

How can we be more agreeable?

Accepted Answer

Romans 14:19So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.Colossians 3:14Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.2 Timothy 2:23Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights.We can be more agreeable by making sure that love is our primary goal in relationships—building one another up to create harmony, rather than cutting others down to make our point.Romans 12:16Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!Romans 15:5May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus.Philippians 2:1-5Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.We can be more agreeable by not being proud. Instead, we should adopt the humble attitude of Jesus in our relationships. Humility defuses hostility; but a hostile attitude is sure to trigger more hostility.Proverbs 17:14Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out.We can be more agreeable by being sensitive to mounting tensions and making every effort to defuse them before they blow up. Floodgates and quarrels are both hard to close once they are opened.Exodus 23:5If you see that the donkey of someone who hates you has collapsed under its load, do not walk by. Instead, stop and help.Luke 6:27-28“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.Romans 12:20-21Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.We can be more agreeable by showing others that we care about them, even if we don’t always agree with them. For instance, we can be kind to them and pray for them regularly. As we ask God to bless those who have wronged us, living in bitterness becomes increasingly difficult. Through doing good, we will break the cycle of conflict.

Question 2

How can we come to agreements?

Accepted Answer

Matthew 5:9“God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.”Romans 12:18Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.Ephesians 4:2-3Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.We can come to agreements by working for peace. If peace is our focus, anything that disrupts peace will be revealed in its proper light and can be avoided.1 Corinthians 1:10I appeal to you, dear brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather, be of one mind, united in thought and purpose.Philippians 2:2Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.Being united in thought and purpose helps us work toward agreement. Remembering that our purpose is to obey and serve the Lord will help us achieve harmony.Ephesians 4:15-16Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.When our relationships are grounded in God’s love, our pursuit of God’s truth will be more productive. In that search for truth, we must never forget our highest purpose: to love and serve God as one body.Philippians 4:4-5Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.We will more readily avoid conflict and come to agreement with others if we are known as positive and considerate people.

Question 3

What do we do when we disagree?

Accepted Answer

Philippians 3:15-16Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. But we must hold on to the progress we have already made.When disagreements arise, we should start with God’s truth as a point of agreement. That will make blending the divergent points of view much easier.2 Samuel 5:19So David asked the Lord, “Should I go out to fight the Philistines? Will you hand them over to me?” The Lord replied to David, “Yes, go ahead. I will certainly hand them over to you.”2 Kings 1:3The angel of the Lord told Elijah, who was from Tishbe, “Go and confront the messengers of the king of Samaria and ask them, ‘Is there no God in Israel? Why are you going to Baal-zebub, the god of Ekron, to ask whether the king will recover?’”James 1:5If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.To help resolve disagreements, we can pray for God’s direction and ask those with whom we disagree to pray as well. This will help open our minds to find the most God-honoring solution.1 Corinthians 6:3Don’t you realize that we will judge angels? So you should surely be able to resolve ordinary disputes in this life.An eternal perspective is helpful in realizing how insignificant our ordinary earthly disagreements often are. Looking at the big picture puts the smaller issues into perspective.Philippians 4:2-3Now I appeal to Euodia and Syntyche. Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement. And I ask you, my true partner, to help these two women, for they worked hard with me in telling others the Good News. They worked along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are written in the Book of Life.We are to proactively help others settle disagreements, especially when those disagreements are hindering their Christian witness.James 1:19Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.A first step to resolving disagreements is to listen. Listening to one another helps us gather as much perspective as possible, allowing us to understand each other’s points of view.Acts 15:1-2, 6, 22, 25, 30-31While Paul and Barnabas were at Antioch of Syria, some men from Judea arrived and began to teach the believers: “Unless you are circumcised as required by the law of Moses, you cannot be saved.” Paul and Barnabas disagreed with them, arguing vehemently. Finally, the church decided to send Paul and Barnabas to Jerusalem, accompanied by some local believers, to talk to the apostles and elders about this question . . . So the apostles and elders met together to resolve this issue . . . Then the apostles and elders together with the whole church in Jerusalem chose delegates, and they sent them to Antioch of Syria with Paul and Barnabas to report on this decision. The men chosen were two of the church leaders—Judas (also called Barsabbas) and Silas . . . So we decided, having come to complete agreement, to send you official representatives, along with our beloved Barnabas and Paul . . . The messengers went at once to Antioch, where they called a general meeting of the believers and delivered the letter. And there was great joy throughout the church that day as they read this encouraging message.Seeking counsel among a group of godly people usually helps us arrive at a consensus upon which we can all agree.Acts 15:36-41After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.” Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus. Paul chose Silas, and as he left, the believers entrusted him to the Lord’s gracious care. Then he traveled throughout Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches there.At times, we must agree to disagree on some issues; however, the Lord’s work must continue. On that, we can all agree.

Question 4

How can I find agreement with others without compromising my convictions?

Accepted Answer

Daniel 1:8, 12-15Daniel was determined not to defile himself by eating the food and wine given to them by the king. He asked the chief of staff for permission not to eat these unacceptable foods. . . . “Please test us for ten days on a diet of vegetables and water,” Daniel said. . . . The attendant agreed to Daniel’s suggestion . . . At the end of the ten days, Daniel and his three friends looked healthier and better nourished than the young men who had been eating the food assigned by the king.When trying to reach an agreement with someone, we will have opportunities to compromise. But on some issues, we must hold firm. When those opposed to God want their way, we cannot budge. To compromise God’s truth, God’s ways, or God’s word is to accept what is unholy. The test of acceptable compromise is simple: Can two parties reach a mutually satisfactory agreement without either party sacrificing his or her values or morals? To give up godliness for anything is a bad bargain. We should work for harmony and agreement wherever possible. In situations where that is not possible, we should ask God to provide the strength and wisdom to follow his direction.Romans 14:1-6, 10, 20-23Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. For instance, one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them. Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord’s help, they will stand and receive his approval. In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. You should each be fully convinced that whichever day you choose is acceptable. Those who worship the Lord on a special day do it to honor him. Those who eat any kind of food do so to honor the Lord, since they give thanks to God before eating. And those who refuse to eat certain foods also want to please the Lord and give thanks to God. . . . So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. . . . Don’t tear apart the work of God over what you eat. Remember, all foods are acceptable, but it is wrong to eat something if it makes another person stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble. You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right. But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.Some issues are a matter of personal conscience. One Christian may abstain from alcohol, whereas another may drink a glass of wine daily. In situations like this, rather than judge each other for being legalistic or sinful we should believe the best of each other’s motives. For example, the person who drinks alcohol may do it in small quantities for health benefits (1 Timothy 5:23), and is being a wise and grateful steward over what God has given. The person who abstains may have a personal or family history with alcoholism, or maybe he or she experienced a tragedy caused by driving under the influence. The person’s firm stance on alcohol may be out of a desire to protect loved ones. In such situations, Scripture advises each of us to follow our conscience and to respect the consciences of others. The person who drinks wine might choose not to drink wine while having dinner with the one who abstains, out of respect for their friend’s conscience. This respect of the “stronger” conscience or the “weaker” conscience is part of a believer’s call to “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2).

Question 5

In what areas of life should there not be agreement?

Accepted Answer

1 Kings 18:21Then Elijah stood in front of them and said, “How much longer will you waver, hobbling between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him! But if Baal is God, then follow him!”Psalm 119:3They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths.Proverbs 25:26If the godly give in to the wicked, it’s like polluting a fountain or muddying a spring.1 Corinthians 10:21You cannot drink from the cup of the Lord and from the cup of demons, too. You cannot eat at the Lord’s Table and at the table of demons, too.2 Corinthians 6:15-16What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said: “I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people.”Righteousness and wickedness cannot be unified because of their contradictory character. Until God settles the issue once and for all, God and Satan, good and evil, right and wrong will always be at war. We must not sin in order to achieve unity.

Question 6

There are different kinds of Christian communities. How can we all agree?

Accepted Answer

Galatians 3:28There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.Ephesians 4:15-16Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.Colossians 3:11In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.We have many titles, descriptors, and associations that form our identity. This was the case in the early church, and after dealing with many church conflicts, Paul knew this truth more clearly than most. But Paul always reminded believers that what they had in common—their identity in Christ—outshone all those little modifying (and dividing) words. Instead of being a “free female Gentile Christian” or a “Jewish male slave Christian,” Paul directed people to think of themselves and each other as merely “Christians.” Before everything else, they all belonged to Christ and were one in Christ.

Agreement