How do I heal from the wounds of abuse?

Ephesians 4:31Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words.

Recognize how bitterness only poisons your own soul. For those who have been victims of abuse, the hurt is real and there are scars—physical and emotional. When justice doesn’t happen as it should, when life doesn’t seem fair—that’s when bitterness can consume us. Through our bitterness, we permit the abuser to maintain a level of power over us, and it’s essential to recognize and deal with that bitterness before it overwhelms us. Otherwise, we will not be able to find healing and move on.

Matthew 6:14-15“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Matthew 5:44“But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!”

Luke 23:34Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”

Romans 12:19Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.

This may be the hardest act of the Christian life: forgiving those who have wronged us without any expectation that they will change. Forgiveness is the only way to purge our souls of the toxin of bitterness and a vengeful spirit. The only way to forgive fully is to understand and accept that God has forgiven our sins, even though we did not deserve it. Only when we seek forgiveness for our sins can we be filled with God’s Spirit. And when we are filled with his Spirit’s power, we can find the strength and the grace to forgive others.

When you forgive your abuser, you are not saying the hurt isn’t real or the abuse was excusable, or that you will put yourself in a position where you might be harmed again. Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation with the abuser. Forgiving the abuser means that you refuse to let the abuser have any more control in your life. The person who hurt you doesn’t need to be asked or told. The act of forgiveness occurs between you and God. Leave your hurt with God and allow his power to heal you from the inside so you can have a fresh start.

Psalm 147:3He [the Lord] heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.

Matthew 11:28Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 15:30-31Jesus . . . healed them all.

Only Jesus can truly heal broken lives.