Build Your Circle

Having a genuine, supportive, honest group of female friends in your circle is one of the biggest life upgrades. “Ran out of gas? Of course I’ll help push your car, but we will definitely laugh about it for the next 40 years.” We all need someone who has witnessed our most embarrassing moments and loves us regardless. Someone who would never serve your kid peas because she knows it makes him gag.

If you desperately want this kind of friendship but it feels hard to come by, you’re not alone. Community is such a cliché concept, but the truth is, we are all desperate for it. We know it will make our lives better, and yet finding friends as adults can feel intimidating. Despite our best efforts, we all seem to be in the midst of a loneliness epidemic.

Loneliness says…

No one really loves me.

No one knows the real me.

My life has no purpose.

I am cut off from God.

No one carries the load with me.

I don’t feel included.

But this is not what Jesus says. Together, we can be the solution to loneliness, but it takes courage, selflessness, and, often, going first.

Read Luke 5:17-26.

Word spread that Jesus had arrived back in Capernaum, and a crowd gathers with people wanting to hear from him and maybe witness a miracle or two. As Jesus is sharing inside a house, a group of friends arrive outside. Friends had carried their paralyzed buddy to Jesus only to be turned away by the volume of the crowd.

The Bible doesn’t give details, but there had to be a moment of disappointment. The guy on the stretcher might have said, “Hey guys, thanks for trying, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen today.” However, in that moment of resignation, one of the friends gets creative (there’s one in every group) and says, “I have an idea. What about the roof?” Everyone gets a second wind.

The friends climb on the roof and start tearing through the tiling. They are men possessed by determination. It’s a huge risk. It’s destruction of property. And yet their friend needs to see Jesus.

People in the house start to hear noises, and minutes later dirt and debris begin falling on their heads, followed by a person. These friends courageously go all in and interrupt Jesus in the middle of his teaching. Peering through the hole in the roof, they watch as Jesus approaches the man they have just lowered and says to him, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

Once, during a particularly dark point in my life, I reached out to a mom-friend for guidance. I had no idea where to go, or what to do next.

She knew how that felt. She had walked that street before.

She didn’t have any incredible words of wisdom— she didn’t try to give me an inspirational speech. She offered a simple, practical, doable next step. She told me to “drink something with bubbles—it will lift your spirits.” I immediately turned my car in the direction of a Route 44 Cherry Limeade and got to work.

And then she prayed with me. My heart was so broken in the moment I couldn’t even form the words—but she could. She knew what to say because she too had suffered heartache. She sat with me in my grief, kept me company, and gave me comfort.

We can come together as friends and show the world the remarkable things that God can do. May you find sisters who will help you do what feels impossible. May you find boldness in your purpose and comfort in being known. And may you say yes to the new things God wants to do in your life. Amen, and let it be so.

Reflection:

1. When was the last time a friend gave you strength through a challenge? Journal about your story.
2. When was the last time you were the friend that held the pain of a close friend? Journal about the experience from your side and theirs.
3. What is one step you could take to rekindle a sisterhood around you today?

Prayer:

God, bring moms into my life who can journey with me. Help me to be the friend they need in this season. Give me the courage to go first to build up the fellow moms in my life. AMEN.

At MomCo we believe in the simple but revolutionary idea that remarkable things happen when moms come together. Find your lifelong, ride-or-die friends right now by visiting us at www.themom.co.