Who Wishes She’d Done It Differently

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

I WAS LYING IN BED, remembering a conversation I’d had the week before with one of my children. In this mental replay, I was thinking through my words and my tone and how my correction had been received. Rather than improving my kid’s behavior by lovingly helping them adjust their thinking, my words had been defeating. As my child’s countenance changed, I knew I had gotten it wrong. I just wished I could’ve gone back and handled things differently.

This feeling isn’t foreign to me. I’m sure if we were completely transparent with each other, you’d say it’s not foreign to you either. Mom guilt is a real thing. And whether it comes because we wish we had spoken differently, acted differently, or just were a different sort of mom altogether, the weight of regret can be crushing.

The truth is, we have a very real enemy who wants us to live in continual disapproval of ourselves. He wants us to ruminate on all our failures. He points out our shortcomings, not so we can improve, but so that we will get stuck in the past or in situations we cannot change. If we are so focused on what we did wrong or wish we had done differently, then we will see ourselves as bad moms.

But God isn’t disappointed in you, my friend. The Holy Spirit gently corrects you and reminds you who you really are—God’s beloved child—in order that you might aim to be even better. His words separate you from your failures, not to hide them, but so that you can press on toward tomorrow with hope. He knows there are moments you wish you could change, and He has healing for your hurting heart. If you’re struggling with the weight of guilt tonight, think instead of how Jesus paid the ultimate price so that you don’t have to live in the shadow of condemnation.

Psalm 103:11-12 reminds us that God’s great love for us depends not on our goodness . . . but His. These same verses remind us that God has taken our shortcomings and removed them so far from us that they no longer hold any power over our hearts or minds.

If our Lord died so that we could be free from the burden of our disappointment, let’s live like His sacrifice was worth it. We cannot change the past, but we can look to the future, knowing that God’s love will meet us there.

Tonight we pray for the momma who wishes she had done something differently. Lord, the guilt mommas carry in our hearts can be heavy. We replay moments or seasons in our minds. We may look back on our lives and wish that we had made different decisions or handled situations with more care. Tonight, Lord, whatever guilt this momma is carrying, we ask that You’d step in and take this weighty burden off her shoulders. Replace it with the truth that Your love for her doesn’t change based on how she views herself. You say she is a good mom because she looks to You even if she didn’t always get it right in the past. Give her peace tonight.

We ask in Jesus’s name, amen.

Lord, thank you for freeing me from the weight I’ve been carrying about . . .