Ordering Your Days

CORE PRACTICE #43: Establish household routines to cut down on confusion and stress, but prioritize relationships over structure.

For God is not a God of disorder but of peace, as in all the meetings of God’s holy people. . . . But be sure that everything is done properly and in order. —1 Corinthians 14:33, 40

Lauren

I’ve always tried to keep an organized household, and with nine children, organization is a necessity! From the beginning of the school year in the fall, we establish routines for dinnertime, homework periods, and bedtimes for each child, depending on everyone’s schedule and age. We’ve found those consistent routines not only help our children individually but also help our household run more smoothly.

I learned a lot about running an orderly home from my mother. I admired her ability to keep everything organized, and I hope I’m passing on some of those same skills to our children. For instance, whenever they come home, they know to put their things in one of the cubbies in the laundry room. All the children have been assigned a different color on our master calendar in the kitchen, so they can easily spot and prepare for their own activities, practices, and school events.

Tony, on the other hand, is not as concerned about keeping things neat. That simply was not as high a priority in his home growing up. So though his office is filled with amazing pictures, mementos, and awards, it’s also piled high with papers and boxes.

I suspect most couples are like us: one spouse is fairly orderly, while the other person doesn’t even notice clutter. In our case, I’ve decided I need to pick my battles, and worrying about Tony keeping his study neat is not going to be one of them. On the other hand, Tony supports my efforts to keep an orderly home. He recognizes that everyone functions better when there’s more structure and less confusion.

Tony and I both recognize that everything throughout creation has an orderliness to it. Order supports our purpose and our plans to implement whatever God has called us to do—whether as a spouse, a parent, a child, a coach, a teacher, or another professional. Order brings structure, making it easier to carry out our work and to run our homes.

But God prioritizes relationships—after all, Jesus went to the cross so our fellowship with Him could be restored. Likewise, Tony and I have learned to focus less on organization for its own sake and more on building strong relationships within our family. That’s why, when we’re expecting company, I’ve learned to simply shut the door to his study and why, when I come home from the store with another storage bin, Tony just smiles.

Adventure Application: How well do you and your spouse balance the need for both household order and relationship building? Which comes easier for you? What is one step you can take this week to strengthen the one that doesn’t come as naturally?