Free For The Asking

CORE PRACTICE #16: Ask God to give you His infinite wisdom and to make you of one mind as you pray about decisions.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. —James 1:5

TONY

In 2010, our son Eric accepted a football scholarship to the University of Oregon. Lauren and I knew we would want to be with him as much as possible while he was in college. Initially, we wanted to help Eric get settled and acclimated to his new surroundings, but we also wanted to be there to support him during the football season.

Since Eugene, Oregon, is just over three thousand miles from our home in Tampa, Lauren and I agreed it might be a good idea to buy a small house or a condominium in the area as a second home. We planned to take vacations there in the summer and spend as many football weekends in Eugene as we could each fall. That was the easy part of the decision. The hard parts were deciding which home was the right one for us and then negotiating a price consistent with our desire to be good stewards of the resources God had entrusted to our care. We would be there ten to twelve weeks of the year, and so the house didn’t have to be perfect—just clean, comfortable, and ready to move into.

What’s the best way for a couple to make such a major decision? This may be one of the harder processes to wrap our brains around—finding peace in decision making, especially when agreement appears to be a long way off. Lauren and I know through experience that such consensus isn’t always easy to achieve, and often the attempt creates more tension in our marriage than we would like. But we’ve discovered one thing that definitely gets in the way: when we allow our base human nature to direct our steps, or when we rely on our own wisdom to make tough choices, we often get stuck.

The apostle James provides a better alternative. God is pretty clear: seek His wisdom in all matters and He will provide for you. Asking for God’s direction may not be our natural inclination, but it needs to become a regular spiritual discipline in our lives.

Lauren and I did pray for direction as we began our home search. We finally narrowed the choice down to three and eventually selected the one we both liked best. When the seller wouldn’t budge on the asking price, however, we wondered whether that was God’s way of directing us to another choice. We continued to pray through the process and sought God’s wisdom for our decision—did He want us to reconsider one of the other two homes?

After much discussion and more prayer, we finally felt that we were on the same page and had been led there by God—we were back to house number one. We had peace and felt it was a wise choice for a number of reasons: the layout, the convenient location, and the resale value of the home when Eric finished at the University of Oregon. We moved ahead with the purchase.

The wisdom of our decision was confirmed in the months that followed, and we realized God could see some advantages that we didn’t know when we were moving ahead with that purchase. We soon met several Christian families in our neighborhood, and one in particular—the Cooley family—became special friends. Not only did we become extremely close, but they were kind enough to look after the house while we were back in Tampa, giving our home the care it needed and us the peace of mind we needed. Looking back, we know that this was the house God had waiting for us.

Fortunately, we were of one mind regarding this decision—the mind of God. Little did we know that He was leading us to wonderful memories of new and dear friends, great summers, and exciting fall weekends.

Adventure Application: What are you and your spouse having trouble agreeing upon today? Resolve not to talk about it any longer but instead to begin praying together about the situation, seeking God’s wisdom as you pray.