First Things First

CORE PRACTICE #15: Accept that the time and place where you connect spiritually as a couple may need to change along with the seasons of your marriage.

One day soon afterward Jesus went up on a mountain to pray, and he prayed to God all night. —Luke 6:12

Lauren

Jesus prayed a lot. A whole lot.

And He prayed in a number of different places—on the mountain, in the desert, in an upper room (giving thanks!), and in a garden. He sought out those moments because they were moments when He could be alone with the one person He loved most—His Father.

You might consider your life hectic, but consider how hard it was for Jesus and His disciples to find any time for prayer and refreshment:

Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat.

So they left by boat for a quiet place, where they could be alone. But many people recognized them and saw them leaving, and people from many towns ran ahead along the shore and got there ahead of them. (Mark 6:31-33)

People always wanted to be with Jesus, which made it hard for Him to be alone. But the one routine that Jesus kept was praying to His Father. He didn’t just find time to spend with God; He made time to spend with Him.

That has seemed to be the key for Tony and me staying close spiritually—for growing in our relationship with God and together. We have to make time to spend with each other in study and prayer. It doesn’t really matter when that time is, or even that it is on a regular schedule and time. But we make sure it happens at least one time each day.

When we were first married, Tony and I made worshiping and praying together part of our routine. We were in a wonderful church, Bethany Baptist in Pittsburgh, and our church attendance, Bible study, and prayer time was pretty consistent and regular. Still, the fall football season put a bit of a damper on our Sunday worship time together. Sunday was game day, and even when the team played at home, Tony was required to be at the stadium very early. So that made Wednesday evening Bible study and prayer at our church even more important for us.

Back then I was also teaching school full time and handling other outside projects. As busy as we both were, we decided we needed to find times during the mornings to study and pray together too. That was the best way we knew to invite God into our day and to encourage each other. We found that we could spend fifteen to twenty minutes very early in the morning for devotions and prayer. That worked, and for the first few years of our marriage, we were able to stick to that routine.

After we had children, we agreed that early mornings were still the best time to pray and study the Bible together. Once Tony headed into the office, particularly during football season, we knew we’d have little time together until the next morning. As I said, we joined a couple’s Bible study on Thursday evenings several years ago, which became another way to connect with God and each other. We also kept and continue to keep a journal by the nightstand, which is where we jot down prayer requests that we can pray for together whenever we have a few minutes.

At times Tony and I have been concerned that we’ve given God the leftovers of our day. I’m sure you occasionally share that feeling. But the reality was that we also had responsibilities to many others who were counting on us to make it all work. We knew God was available anytime, so we just needed to be flexible while making sure we didn’t overlook meeting regularly with each other and with Him.

What a comfort it is to know that God doesn’t care what time we meet with Him—He just wants us to join Him. So whether you meet early in the morning or late at night, be sure to put first things first by purposefully agreeing on a set time to meet with God.

Adventure Application: Try to schedule at least three or four times this week that you and your spouse can spend together in devotional study and prayer. Then complement that with Sunday worship time at a Bible-teaching church of your choice.