Doing The Impossible

CORE PRACTICE #78: Expect that when your emotions and perceptions don’t line up, conflict will occur.

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. —Philippians 4:12-13

TONY

After being stabbed by another sharp rebuttal or enduring another night of stony silence, have you ever told yourself, I can’t do this! My spouse just doesn’t understand me, and marriage is so much harder than I ever imagined?

If so, I have good news and bad news. I’ll give you the bad news first: You’re right. You can’t do it—not on your own. You and your spouse are two flawed human beings whose different failings, feelings, and perceptions will often lead you to clash. When you add fatigue, illness, or other stressors (such as children) to the mix, that conflict may seem insurmountable.

But I can guarantee this: The good news trumps the bad.

Christ promises you all the grace and strength you need. When Paul wrote to the church in Philippi, he was addressing believers who were being marginalized and brutalized because they had decided to follow God. Paul himself was in prison, so he knew the pressure of trying to stand strong in a difficult situation. Pastor Tony Evans says this about today’s Scripture passage: “[Paul] wasn’t saying that he could fly on his own power if he chose to, but he was promising that everything Christ commanded him to do, Christ would enable him to accomplish.”^a

Did you catch that? Since God commanded us to love and respect our spouses, He will give us the power to do it—provided we look to Him and follow where He leads.

Likewise the author of Hebrews urges us to “run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith” (Hebrews 12:1-2). In other words, we are to look to Him.

I know Lauren and I have mentioned several times that we pray together every day. Now do you see why? We know our shortcomings; we know our limitations; we know we are unaware of much that lies ahead of us. And when we feel locked in a bad situation with no way out, we know where our only source of hope and understanding is found.

“Conflicts shouldn’t destroy the union,” says Evans, “they should show the power of Christ within us. Because Christ never asks us to do what He has not already given us the ability to do, marital conflict can be the area in which we show the difference Christ makes.”^b

Amazing, isn’t it? Not only does God promise to walk with us through any troubles with our spouse, He can use our struggles to show the world that He is faithful, loving, and all-powerful.

Before giving up, be sure to look up. Today, if you feel stuck in a deep pit of despair, maybe these insights from pastor John Piper will provide just the hope you need: “With God, nothing is impossible. He has more ropes and ladders and tunnels out of pits than you can conceive. Wait. Pray without ceasing. Hope.”^c

Adventure Application: Where are you looking? Down in defeat? At each other with eyes blazing? Or up to the one who promises that you can do anything through Him? If you’re not already looking up, how can you help each other do that?