Meltdown!

Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.

Psalm 51:10

If it were not for the unrelenting grace, love, and sweet mercy of God, my heart would be a constant disaster zone. I love the Lord. I have been walking with Him wholeheartedly for more than twenty-five years, but I just had a major meltdown of my own creation! Have you ever had one of those?

It was late in the day and hot outside. I was hungry and tired, and before I knew it, I rattled off my complaints to the two people I love the most—my husband and daughter. After my tirade, my husband said, “Now, do you want to tell me what you really think?”

In my sorry state, I tried not to smile at his attempt at humor, even though he is the funniest person I know. Sin is not funny, though, and I felt true remorse for spouting off like I did. Even though I confessed my sin, I’m sure they were still shocked. It speaks well of Mark and Kali that they did not fire back at me. I knew my spirit needed a cleanup, the kind only God can handle.

James 4:1-2 (NIV) says, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it.” Ugh! I acted like a child, a real two-year-old! I wanted something and did not get it.

Even though my husband playfully pointed out the verbal mess I had made, neither he nor my daughter could fix my heart. No human person can give us a clean conscience; no human can take away our guilt. No one living and breathing beside us, whom we can visibly see, can restore our joy and peace and totally change our spirit.

I am grateful that God is capable of renewing me with His Spirit—grateful for myself and my family.

God creates the clean heart and renews our loyal spirit in Jesus Christ. Buy yourself some special bath salts or a new loofah. Enjoy a cleansing, renewing soak as you ask the Lord to cleanse your spirit with His own.