You Are Jealous Of What Others Have

You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong —you want only what will give you pleasure. James 4:2-3

AS EMBARRASSING as it is to admit, most of us envy other parents and their kids at one point or another. When we’re struggling to conceive, we can feel jealous toward those couples who seem to just look at each other and get pregnant. We can be envious of those who have babies who sleep through the night early on, toddlers who can already read, elementary-aged kids who seem to have more friends than our child, teenagers who get the lead in the school play or the starting position on the team when our child doesn’t, or young adults who seem to be progressing toward an education or vocation more smoothly than our child.

As he is wont to do, James gets to the heart of the issue —our motives. We want our children to make us look good. But God has different intentions for our parenting. His goal is not to make us impressive but to make us holy. Rather than bringing us glory, God intends for our parenting to bring him glory. So he provides exactly what we need to overcome our jealousy and envy: “He gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble’” (James 4:6).

We humble ourselves before you, God, naming and confessing our sin of jealousy. Forgive us for wanting parenting success so we will look good in front of others instead of wanting our neediness for your grace to put your glory and goodness on display. We need your power to resist the devil’s attempts to twist and contort our parenting and ruin our relationships by tempting us to be jealous of other parents and their kids. We need your grace to stand against the desire to be impressive. We come close to you, believing that you will come close to us.