The Fuel Of Affection

The Fuel of Affection

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them.

Romans 12:9

Here’s a question: If your spouse were an automobile, what kind of fuel would keep him or her going?

Of course, the possible answers are endless. But if we had to choose one energizing fuel that would work for just about everyone, we’d say affection. Affection fuels loving feelings. And even if you’re not used to it, affection is so easy to express. You have a million opportunities every day to express your fondness for your partner. You have countless ways to convey tender, warmhearted feelings for your spouse—because you are a unique couple, with your own set of shared experiences, conversations, memories, and inside jokes. It can be verbal or nonverbal. It could be a gentle caress, a loving wink, a turned-down blanket, or any other gesture of kindness and caring.

Jack never really understood the value of expressing affection to his spouse until he attended one of our seminars. A few weeks later, he sent us an e-mail: “I thought I’d give it a try. So I stopped by her office yesterday with her favorite coffee drink, and I asked the receptionist to bring it to her as a little surprise. I wrote ‘Glad you’re mine,’ on the lid. That was it. Well, you would have thought I gave her a trip to Hawaii. She called me on the phone that afternoon and was gushing. And that evening, well, it was fantastic!”

Jack became a believer. You will too when you experiment with a few acts of warm affection for your spouse. Try it. Make a note to be genuinely, intentionally affectionate with your spouse in the next day, and see for yourself how far the fuel takes you.^a

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our natural lives.

—C. S. Lewis

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