The Extra-mile Marriage

The Extra-Mile Marriage

If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles.

Matthew 5:41

This one shocking statement Jesus made holds enough power to revolutionize your marriage. He said if someone forces you to go one mile, go with that person two miles.

Have you learned to apply the extra-mile principle to your marriage? Every husband and every wife knows how to walk the first mile. After all, our relationships couldn’t survive without it. The first mile is what we know we have to do. It is taking the trash out, preparing dinner, or balancing the checkbook because we said we would do it.

So what’s the second mile? At the time Jesus made this statement, the Roman army had a pesky practice of forcing men and boys who were nearby to carry their soldiers’ packs. Being civilized, the Romans limited the task to one mile, and every boy under Roman rule knew exactly how far that was. In fact, as a marker, most boys drove a stake into the ground precisely one mile from their house. This way, when a soldier required the task, the boy would walk exactly a mile down the road to the stake, set the pack on the other side, and be done with it. That was all he was required to do, and nobody expected more.

Jesus used this illustration to point out that we sometimes do the same thing in our relationships. We measure out exactly how much is expected and do just that, nothing more. Let’s face it, with our hectic pace most of us do just enough to squeak by even in the relationship that matters most. So, yes, we take the trash out or we make the meal, but only because we have to, and our grumbling and whining make that clear. Jesus, however, says there is a better way—a way to do more than the minimum.

The extra mile turns the ordinary into the extraordinary, the expected into the unexpected. You walk the extra mile for your partner, for example, when you take the trash out with a smile or prepare a meal with a special touch, when you do your spouse a favor without expecting a reward. The extra mile turns responsibility into opportunity. When you are walking the extra mile in marriage, your attitude shifts from “have to” to “want to.” Do you find that you “have to” do things for your marriage? If so, think about how you might turn that into “want to,” and see what happens when you start going the extra mile.

No one ever attains very eminent success by simply doing what is required of him; it is the amount and excellence of what is over and above the required that determines the greatness of ultimate distinction.

—Charles Francis Adams