Easy To Live With

Easy to Live With

My people will live in peacful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.

Isaiah 32:18, NIV

The oddsmakers say the chances are five in ten that a marriage will end in divorce. If one or both partners are still teenagers when they marry, they say the odds for divorce are even higher. If either partner witnessed an unhappy marriage at home, the odds increase again. If one or both partners come from broken homes, the odds rise yet higher. If either partner has been divorced before, the odds soar. If there has been regular sexual involvement before marriage, or if either or both partners abuse alcohol or drugs, the odds skyrocket.

Well, regardless of your marriage “odds,” we have a soul-searching question for you that will help you beat them. Are you ready? Ask yourself: How would I like to be married to me?

That simple question can do more to help you ensure the success of your marriage and build a secure home than just about anything else. Think about it. How would you rate yourself as a marriage partner? Are you easy to live with? How do you enrich the relationship? What are the positive qualities you bring to your marriage?

Every marriage is unique, and though there is no definitive list of qualities that describes a good spouse, you can get a clue about what makes a good spouse by considering some of the traits that show up again and again in studies of lifelong love. For example, research has shown that the partner who is easy to live with feels good about himself or herself. He is not unduly concerned about the impression he makes on others. She can throw back her head, breathe deeply, and enjoy life. This kind of person is described in the Bible: “Then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else” (Galatians 6:4).

The person who makes a good lifelong marriage partner and helps to build a “peaceful dwelling place” also has a way of passing over minor offenses and injustices. In other words, she is not easily offended. His general attitude is “not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Some spouses punish their partner with time in the penalty box for ordinary bruises. But the person who is easy to live with doesn’t even play the game.

What can you do to make sure your home is a place of safety and rest for both you and your spouse?

A smile is the beginning of peace.

—Mother Teresa