Pessimism Kills Encouragement

Pessimism Kills Encouragement

Judas and Silas, both being prophets, spoke at length to the believers, encouraging and strengthening their faith.

Acts 15:32

Few things are more deadly to marriage than negativism—especially in its most alluring form of pessimism. In fact, we suspect that if couples could be given a vaccine against pessimistic thinking we would see the divorce rate all but drop off. The good news is that in a sense, you can protect your marriage against a pessimistic virus. How? All it takes is a little encouragement.

Some marriage partners see every problem in their lives as interminable. They believe one problem will ruin everything. So they quit trying. They give up, resigned to passivity. They raise the white flag and surrender to the problems of life they could otherwise beat.

A different group of spouses see their outside problems as mere obstacles, as challenges to overcome. They face a difficult situation at work or with a friend and work hard to get through. They don’t give up.

Do you know the difference between these two groups of married couples? Marriage experts do. Research has shown time and again that all it takes for many people to persevere in the midst of a difficulty is an encouraging word from their spouses: “I believe in you,” “You have what it takes,” “You are doing great.” Seemingly small and insignificant, these simple statements almost go unnoticed. But not by the person on the receiving end. Encouragement brings strength and can make the difference between a spouse who gives up and a partner who perseveres.

No wonder it was remarkable that Judas and Silas did what they could to encourage and strengthen the early believers! In the same way, don’t neglect the powerful role you can play in each other’s lives just by offering the simple gift of encouragement.

The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose.

—Kahlil Gibran