Eating Humble Pie

Eating Humble Pie

He said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.”

Matthew 18:3-4

Hannah, a country church organist for many years, had taken to falling asleep during the sermon. As she was loved by all, this fault was easily overlooked. Besides, the position of the organ at the east end of the platform kept her pretty much away from the congregation’s normal line of vision.

One Sunday as the sermon was building to a climax, the minister swung his arm forcefully and cried: “Look to the East!” The congregation, following his gesture, gasped and then chuckled softly. There sat Hannah, head back and mouth open, sleeping the sleep of the innocent. The minister regained his composure and concluded his message with equal poise. Hannah awoke at her usual time and played the closing hymn, temporarily unaware of what had happened.^a

The circumstances may have been different, but we’ve all been in Hannah’s shoes. We’ve all suffered a humiliating experience that brought us down a notch or two. And that’s not a bad thing.

Just as a self-inflating mattress becomes puffed up with nothing but air, we can puff ourselves up with hollow pride. You know the syndrome. You’ve seen it in others, and if you’re honest you’ve seen it in yourself. We can become so impressed with who we think we are that we lose all sight of our humility. And humility is a key ingredient to any healthy relationship, especially marriage. William Gurnall said, “Humility is the necessary veil to all other graces.” Without humility, it’s nearly impossible to engender kindness and warmth with our spouse.

So when was the last time you monitored your unhealthy pride quotient? If it’s been a while, consider what the famous preacher Charles Spurgeon said: “Humility is to make a right assessment of oneself.” That’s all. It’s not complex. And as a married couple, you have a built-in way for doing just that. Though it takes some courage, you can invite feedback to help you honestly assess how you’re doing with pride. But by all means, be gentle with each other. And pray the prayer of Thomas Merton: “Give me humility, in which alone is rest, and deliver me from pride, which is the heaviest of burdens.”

If you want to get practical, ask your spouse to help you identify one area in your life where it wouldn’t hurt to have a bit more humility. Listen to his or her feedback without being defensive. The goal here is to help, not hurt, one another.

What makes humility so desirable is the marvelous thing it does to us; it creates in us a capacity for the closest possible intimacy with God.

—Monica Baldwin

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