Confession Is Good For The Marriage

Confession Is Good for the Marriage

People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.

Proverbs 28:13

One of England’s major newspapers, The Guardian, carries a daily confessional column called “Corrections and Clarifications.” Once edited by Ian Mayes, the column breaks the stodgy English tradition of rarely admitting error. Sometimes done with humor at the paper’s own expense, the column averages about five items per day. Typos range from simple misspellings to substituting “having insight” for “having incited.” At some point Mayes sensed that more people read the correction than read the original story, and he was right. He published Only Correct, a bestselling compendium of his favorite mishaps.

If a newspaper has learned that confession enlarges readership rather than turning people away, perhaps there is a lesson for husbands and wives here too. Neither newspapers nor spouses can avoid making mistakes; there’s nothing unusual about that. It is candor in admitting them, and taking responsibility for them, that is unique.

Sometime today, before you turn down the covers of your bed, why don’t you take a moment to turn down the covers of your soul? Just enough to let your spouse know you know you’re human. Confess a foible or two as a husband or wife. What “corrections and clarifications” on your part of the marriage would you like to make today? Maybe you regret the comment you made at dinner tonight. Maybe you wish you had handled a discipline issue with the kids differently. Or maybe you wish you had affirmed your partner at a certain point today for how he or she handled a tough spot at work, and you didn’t do it.

The key is to be specific. As Thomas Brooks said, “An implicit confession is almost as bad as an implicit faith; wicked men commonly confess their sins by wholesale. We are all sinners; but the true penitent confesses his sins by retail.”

No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. But when we own up to our mistakes and do our best to correct them, we become better for it—and so do our marriages. Try it. What little correction can you confess right now? Review your last day or so and highlight one thing you wish you had handled differently—especially as it pertains to your marriage. The very act of talking about it will help you do better next time.

There are many persons who think Sunday is a sponge with which to wipe out the sins of the week.

—Henry Ward Beecher