Are You Up For A Dare?

Are You Up for a Dare?

Common sense and success belong to me. Insight and strength are mine.

Proverbs 8:14

On this day in 2008 a surprise box-office hit debuted in movie theaters across the country. The film, written and produced by brothers Alex and Stephen Kendrick, was shot on location in the small town of Albany, Georgia. Upon the film’s release, we conducted a marriage seminar at Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, the church at which the Kendrick brothers are on staff. That’s where we learned that with the exception of Kirk Cameron, none of the actors were professionals. They were volunteers from the congregation. Who could have predicted that a film like this, about marriage and made by church folks in a small town, would become the highest-grossing independent film of the year—and that it would touch the lives of countless couples? Maybe you were among them.

If so, you know that Fireproof is the story of Caleb and Catherine Holt, a couple considering divorce after seven years of marriage. In one last attempt to salvage their marriage, Caleb tries a forty-day experiment his father calls The Love Dare. In one scene Caleb (Kirk Cameron), a firefighter, is working out at the gym with one of his co-workers, Michael (Ken Bevel). Caleb is upset about a fight between himself and Catherine the night before, and he’s considering quitting The Love Dare. Michael offers the sympathy of one who has been there before and has moved past the kind of crisis Caleb is in. Asked how, Michael explains, pointing to a corner of the gym:

“That treadmill is not broken, but if you don’t know how to run it, it ain’t gonna work for you.”

“Are you saying I need counseling?” Caleb asks with a sneer.

“Well, I think everybody needs counseling,” Michael replies.

“Look, man,” Caleb says, “I am not about to go talk to somebody I don’t even know about something that’s none of their business!”

It’s a threatening subject, we know. We’ve seen that up close and personal throughout our professional lives. Some people get hung up on the idea of counseling for various reasons, but it’s a topic worth discussion by every married couple from time to time. So while we’re still in the first month of a new year, this is as good a time as any to raise the issue: How do you feel about seeking professional help for something in your marriage if and when an important issue needs to be addressed? Do you tend to be a bit like Caleb in your stance? Why or why not?

If it’s free, it’s advice; if you pay for it, it’s counseling; if you can use either one, it’s a miracle.

—Jack Adams