Working For Change

Working for Change

Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

2 Corinthians 5:17

LIVING WITH AN IRRESPONSIBLE spouse is not fun. However, watching an irresponsible spouse change and grow can be great fun. In yesterday’s devotion, I suggested that the first step to helping is to find out why your spouse is irresponsible. Today, I want to suggest that the next step is to acknowledge your own failures in the past.

If you want to see change in your spouse, it is always best to begin by changing yourself. You know, and your spouse knows, that you have not been perfect. When you confess your own failures to yourself, God, and then to your spouse, you are paving the road to growth for both of you. The apostle Paul makes clear in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that those who belong to Christ are beginning new lives. Never forget that God has the power to transform your own heart as well as your spouse’s. When you begin with what you can control—yourself—and ask God to change you, changes in your spouse will not be far behind.

Consider saying this to your spouse: “I know I’ve been critical of you. I’ve realized that in many ways I have failed to be the Christian spouse I should have been. I know I haven’t always given you the encouragement you needed. I hope that you will forgive me. I want the future to be different.” With that communication, you have immediately changed the climate between the two of you. You have opened the door to growth.

Lord, I am grateful that you are in the business of changing lives. Though it’s tempting to think that only my spouse needs to change, I know that’s not true. Please help me to be willing to change as well. Show me how to be a better husband or wife, and grant me the humility to confess my wrongs to my spouse without first demanding change from him or her.

Irresponsibility