Speaking Love Through Gifts

Speaking Love through Gifts

“Let [Rebekah] be the wife of your master’s son, as the LORD has directed.” When Abraham’s servant heard their answer, he bowed down to the ground and worshiped the LORD. Then he brought out silver and gold jewelry and clothing and presented them to Rebekah. He also gave expensive presents to her brother and mother.

Genesis 24:51-53

MY ACADEMIC BACKGROUND is anthropology. In all the cultures around the world that anthropologists have studied, they have never discovered a culture where gift giving is not a part of the love and marriage process. The biblical account of Rebekah’s engagement to Isaac clearly shows this custom. Once she and her family had agreed that she would be Isaac’s wife, Abraham’s servant gave her costly gifts to show his master’s sincerity and respect. Giving gifts as an expression of love is universal. A gift is a visible token that says, “I was thinking about you.”

Receiving gifts is some people’s primary love language. Unfortunately, these people are often married to others who don’t speak this love language very well.

A man may have given gifts before marriage because he thought that was a part of courtship, but after marriage the gift giving stopped. Perhaps he expresses love in other ways, but he ceases to give gifts. I remember the wife who said, “My husband tells me that he loves me, but to me, words are cheap. ‘I love you. I love you.’ I’m sick of words. Where are the gifts?” Her husband’s words may be sincere, but he’s speaking the wrong love language. For his wife, one gift is worth a thousand words.

If that’s true of your spouse as well, make sure you’re finding an appropriate way to express your love.

Lord God, sometimes I forget how much a small gesture can mean to my spouse—even if his or her primary love language isn’t gifts. Please help me to be thoughtful and to show him or her how much I care.

Gifts