Seeking The Greatest Good

Seeking the Greatest Good

Our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness.

Hebrews 12:10

“I DID IT BECAUSE I love her.” We often use the word love to explain our behavior. Who doesn’t remember a parent saying, “I’m punishing you because I love you”? As children we had a hard time figuring that out, but it was likely true. Parents discipline children because they love them. God does the same to his children, as the above verse from Hebrews makes clear. His ultimate goal is for us to become more like him, and his discipline molds and shapes us to that end. But in a marriage, there is no parent—only two partners. We don’t discipline each other, but we do love each other and want our partner to fulfill his or her God-given potential.

The question is, how do we know when our action is loving? Love is doing what is best for the other person, but at times this can be difficult to figure out. For example, the wife of an alcoholic picks up the pieces after her husband’s latest episode. She calls it love, but the psychologist calls it codependency. Did her action help him? Perhaps in the short term, but not in the long term.

We must learn to love effectively by doing what will best serve the emotional, spiritual, and physical health of our spouse. At times that means love must be tough. If this is a situation you face, ask God to give you the wisdom to make the right choices about how best to love your spouse.

Father, sometimes it’s difficult for me to discern what approach to my spouse is really the loving one. I need your wisdom. Please help me to keep the end goal in mind—that my husband or wife would be healthy emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Thank you that your ultimate goal for both of us is to be more like you.

Tough Love