Intellectual Intimacy

Intellectual Intimacy

My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “LORD, I am coming.”

Psalm 27:8

MOST OF US GOT MARRIED not because we wanted someone to help us cook meals, wash dishes, maintain the car, and rear children. Rather, we married out of a deep desire to know and to be known, to love and to be loved, and to have a genuinely intimate relationship. How does this lofty goal become reality? It helps to look at the five essential components of an intimate relationship, which we’ll do in the next few days.

First is intellectual intimacy. So much of life is lived in the world of the mind. Throughout the day, we have hundreds of thoughts about life as we encounter it. We also have desires, things we would like to experience or obtain. Intellectual intimacy comes from sharing some of these thoughts and desires with our spouse. These may focus on finances, food, health, current events, music, or church. Whether or not they’re important in and of themselves, these thoughts and desires reveal something about what has gone on in our mind throughout the day.

Psalm 27:8 describes a way to increase our intimacy with God—by responding when he invites us to talk with him. The same principle applies to human relationships. In marriage, we have the pleasure of learning some of the inner movements of our spouse’s mind. That is the essence of intellectual intimacy.

Father, thank you for wanting to talk to me and hear from me! I know that conversation builds relationships. Help me to share my thoughts freely with my loved one and listen carefully to his or her thoughts as well.

Intimacy