Gentle Words

Gentle Words

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.

Proverbs 15:1

POSITIVE WORDS are powerful tools in building a strong marriage. When my wife compliments me on something, it makes me want to do more. When she criticizes me, it makes me want to defend myself and fight back. If you want to see your spouse blossom, try giving a compliment every day for thirty days and see what happens.

Have you ever noticed that when you speak softly, your spouse seems to calm down, and when you speak harshly, your spouse tends to get louder? We influence each other not only by what we say, but by how we say it. Screaming is a learned behavior, and it can be unlearned. We don’t have to yell at each other. The above verse from Proverbs tells us what we instinctively know: Harsh words lead to more anger, but gentle words can defuse the situation. It’s all in how we say it.

If you have a problem that you need to discuss with your spouse, write out what you want to say. Stand in front of a mirror and make your presentation in a soft voice. Then ask God to help you use the same tone of voice when you talk to your spouse. You may not be perfect the first time, but you will learn to speak the truth in love and gentleness.

Dear Lord, I want to affirm my spouse by the things I say as well as the way I say them. Please help me to remember that kindness will always go further than criticism. Guard me from yelling or screaming at my spouse; please show me the way to speak with gentleness and kindness.

Encouragement