Expressing Love To The Unlovely

Expressing Love to the Unlovely

We know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Romans 5:5

HOW CAN WE LOVE an unlovely spouse? Through almost thirty years of counseling, I have met with many individuals who live in unbelievably difficult marriages. Without exception, the root problem of marital difficulties is selfishness, and the root cure is love. Love and selfishness are opposites. By nature we are all self-centered, but when we become Christians, the Holy Spirit brings the love of God into our hearts, as Romans 5:5 indicates. Galatians 5 lists the character qualities the Holy Spirit will produce in our lives if we allow him, and these include love. We now can become God’s agents for expressing his love. Sharing this divine love flowing through us is the most powerful thing we can do for our spouse.

I want to give you the challenge I have given many people through the years. Try a six-month experiment of loving your spouse unconditionally. Discover your spouse’s primary love language, and speak it at least once a week for six months, no matter how you are treated in return. I have seen hard, harsh, cruel people melt long before the six months are over. When you let God express his love through you, you can become the agent of healing for your spouse and your marriage.

Heavenly Father, thank you for filling my heart with your love. No matter how frustrated I am with my marriage, I want to commit to loving my spouse unconditionally for the next six months and speaking his or her love language. Please give me the determination to do this. I know you can transform my marriage.

Unconditional Love