Caring Enough To Confront

Caring Enough to Confront

[The Lord] said to me, “The sins of the people of Israel and Judah are very, very great. The entire land is full of murder; the city is filled with injustice.”

Ezekiel 9:9

SOME THINGS are not permissible in a marriage. Physical abuse, sexual unfaithfulness, abuse of children, alcoholism, or drug addiction require loving action. In fact, we are not loving if we accept such behavior as a way of life. Why? Because love is always concerned about the other person’s well-being, and such behavior destroys both the individual and the marriage. Love must confront. That’s tough love, and that’s real love.

In the Bible, confronting is often seen as redemptive. Certainly the Old Testament prophets were frequently directed by God to confront Israel with her sin, as we see in the above verse from Ezekiel. The prophet’s tone often sounds harsh to us, but the purpose of showing the people how far they had fallen was to encourage them back to a right relationship with God.

On an interpersonal level, Jesus said, “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense” (Matthew 18:15). The purpose of confronting is so that the relationship might be restored. If there is genuine repentance and change, then there can be genuine forgiveness, and the marriage can be rebuilt. Without confrontation and repentance, however, the behavior will continue. Tough love is caring enough to confront.

Father, confrontation is hard for me. But I can learn from your Word that some things cannot be tolerated because they are causing too much hurt and damage. Please give me wisdom to know when I should confront my spouse—and how I should react if he or she confronts me about my own behavior.

Tough Love