Breaking The Silence

Breaking the Silence

Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.

1 Timothy 4:12

WHEN YOUR SPOUSE gives you the “silent treatment,” you may feel helpless. But you’re not. You can help break the silence. However, you don’t do it by criticizing your spouse for not talking. Instead, you do it by trying to understand what is going on inside your loved one and addressing those issues.

I can hear someone saying, “But how can I know what is going on inside him if he won’t talk?” The answer is to think. Think about your spouse’s emotional needs. When our emotional needs are not met, we act badly, and silence is one form the misbehavior can take.

Jill addressed the issue when she said to her husband, “Mike, I realize that I have not been speaking your love language lately. I’m really sorry about that. I got so busy that I forgot the main thing—I love you. I think that your silence is probably related to the fact that you feel neglected by me. If so, could we agree that next time this happens, you will simply say, ‘My love tank is empty. I need to know that you love me’? I promise you I’ll respond, because I do love you.”

You guessed it. In response to that loving, honest request, Mike started talking. As the above verse mentions, our words should be above reproach, and our love should be evident. When that’s the case, we will have a positive effect on others.

Lord, please give me the maturity, the self-control, and the wisdom to respond lovingly to my spouse when he or she has stopped talking to me. Show me how to address the core issue of his or her emotional needs. Heal our relationship.

Silence