Under His Wings

Under his wings you will find refuge. Psalm 91:4, NIV

I hung up the phone. I was exhausted. These conversations with my drunken depressed father were lasting longer and longer, and what he was saying was making less and less sense. And somehow I always left the conversation feeling guilty, depressed, or responsible for the state he was in. It would take me days to recover and get back to a positive place. How could I honor my dad, honor my husband, and care for my children?

My quiet-time verse gave me hope: “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’ . . . Under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart” (Psalm 91:1-4, NIV).

As I prayed through the verses, I decided to pray them whenever I talked with Dad on the phone. I started to see a pattern emerge. I started saying things like:

“Dad, we’ve gone down this road before, and it hasn’t helped you. Let me pray for you, okay?”

“Dad, I love you and I’m going to call you in the morning because you’ve been drinking. What you have to say is important, and I want you to remember our conversation.”

“Dad, God loves you, and he doesn’t want you to live in this pain. Would you like some resources to get out of this painful place?”

God sheltered me, and I was able to bring Dad under the Lord’s wings, out of the storm of pain—at least when we were talking. God gave me the ability to remain in him as a refuge while giving refuge to my dad.