Changing Fatherhood

The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out. Proverbs 20:5, NIV

I was incredibly proud of my eldest son the day he graduated from high school, but I still found that I thought of him as a child. All that changed one day when my son showed me he had become a man.

Not long after his graduation, I asked him to speak in our church about what had helped him get through his high school years. I just wanted him to talk truthfully about what the church had meant to him growing up.

I asked my son if he wanted my help in preparing himself to speak. I expected him to gladly accept my offer, but he didn’t.

As much as I wanted to challenge him and get him to show me his notes, I knew this was a part of his “rite of passage.” I knew that he wanted to show me and the rest of the adults in his life that he was becoming a man.

He did a wonderful job. He told the congregation that three things had prepared him for the challenges of high school: (1) constant exposure to and memorization of the Bible; (2) the church’s youth ministry, which challenged him and gave him a place to belong; and (3) the encouragement he received from older adults every week.

At that moment, I knew my son had become an adult. He would still need my help from time to time, but in a different way. I could tell that he was up for the change—but I wondered if I was.

Are you ready for the changes that are sure to come as your sons and daughters become men and women? As the “waters of their heart” deepen, are you prayerfully and carefully drawing them out?

Lord, prepare me to be a good father even after my children become adults. Help me to understand that my role will change even though I will always be “Dad.”