Treat Yourself Kindly

You, O Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.

Psalm 86:15

It may seem like a selfish act, but showing kindness to yourself is actually a wonderful way to start showing kindness toward others. Kind acts start as kind thoughts, and if we are constantly thinking negatively about ourselves, it can be hard to think kind thoughts about others, which in turn makes it hard to actually do kind actions.

I have a friend who can be highly critical and wary of others’ motives. She has a tendency to initially believe that others are simply out to take advantage of her, so in turn, she rarely finds a reason to help other people, especially strangers. I was somewhat taken aback by her assumptions and judgments of others until I heard her start talking about herself and her own faults and imperfections. I realized her negative thoughts toward others were simply a reflection of the same negativity she felt toward herself. When I realized where her thoughts had originated from and how she was thinking about (and treating) herself, I felt compassion for her.

When it comes to kindness, how we treat ourselves first will have an effect on how we view and treat others. If you have a hard time thinking about doing a kind act toward others each day, start by pondering what kind of thoughts you have toward yourself. Are you critical of yourself when you make mistakes? Do you berate yourself for your past? Do you wish you had a different life, childhood, or personality?

When we spend our mental energy speaking unkind words to ourselves, we will have a hard time showing kindness to others. Scripture reminds us over and over that God is compassionate and gracious toward us, filled with unfailing love. In the face of such kindness, how can we not be willing to follow his example by extending this same grace to ourselves? Kindness needs to start in our own hearts and minds before we can give it away to others.

—Kendra

— Today’s Act of Kindness —

Be aware of your thoughts toward yourself. When you hear yourself being critical, stop and instead remind yourself how loved you are by God.

From the book