Seeking A Compromise
Seeking a Compromise
How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony!
Psalm 133:1
“Guess what!” my then-fiancé said to me over the phone, excitedly. “I bought a PlayStation 3 today!”
His pronouncement was met with silence on my end.
“Hello . . . ?” he asked after the pause extended to an uncomfortable length of time.
“How much did that cost?” I asked finally, feeling my voice tremble a little, with visions of flowers and photographers and wedding dresses scrolling through my mind. “We’re saving for a wedding!”
“Oh,” he said, pausing as he took in my unexpected reaction. “Well, it’s a Blu-ray player too. I got it for the family,” he tacked on at the end, a bit hopefully.
At twenty-nine, he wasn’t used to having someone else sign off on big purchases. Years of living and working as an adult meant that he was pretty self-sufficient. Yet the prospect of marriage—and the joint bank accounts that came with it—required us to have some frank discussions about money. As a couple, we decided that if one of us wanted to buy something that cost more than our predetermined limit, we would give the other person the courtesy of a phone call first to discuss it.
Sometimes kindness, especially in marriage, requires us to adjust our expectations or rethink our natural inclinations. Sometimes it requires something as simple as a phone call. The Psalms talk about how wonderful it is when brothers (or, in our case, couples) live together in harmony, but a measure of kindness is needed in order to make compromises that lead to true unity. Financial considerations, career changes, and even parenting styles can clash. We need to be willing to discuss our preferences and beliefs and—when the occasion calls for it—to compromise with the other person in order to preserve unity.
Although we now joke about my husband’s legendary “It’s for the family” excuse for buying a video game console, truthfully, his willingness to consider my feelings and preferences went a long way toward smoothing our differences. And we really did get a lot of use out of that PlayStation!
— Today’s Act of Kindness —
Are you in the midst of a difference of opinion with someone? Consider the issue from their perspective, and work to close the distance by suggesting a compromise.
From the book
