Will You Be My Friend? - Give Her A Pass

Will You Be My Friend? - Give Her a Pass

A woman wants her friends to be perfect. She sets a pattern . . . lays a friend out on this pattern and worries and prods at any little qualities which do not coincide with her own image. —Betty MacDonald

GIRLFRIENDS, I want to close this series by asking you to pray with me on a sensitive subject: the reality that women are just way too hard on one another. Too often we expect far more support from a friend than any human can or should give.

I believe that, just as male and female opposites often attract, the same is true among women friends. We’re sometimes attracted to a woman who is very different from ourselves; we admire or hold in high esteem the qualities that we feel we lack. As an example, I have a girlfriend who is a bit reserved, self-effacing, thoughtful of others, and sometimes doubtful. I am attracted to her because I lack these important attributes. She says she is attracted to me because I am typically outgoing, bold, busy, and optimistic. We work well together as a team.

But we don’t always embrace our differences when we’re faced with a disappointment or crisis. The minute our girlfriend doesn’t respond to us the way we would have responded to her, our feelings are hurt—which, when you think about it, is totally nuts. The reason you found her attractive as a friend in the first place was because she was different from you. She can’t possibly have your qualities and hers too. Can you really love her just for who she is?

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. (Romans 12:9-14)

Your friend will never be perfect. For your sake and hers, give her a pass.