What Does It Look Like?

What Does It Look Like?

WHAT ARE THE SECRETS to living an honorable life? The advice is endless. You can read about them in books or in magazines. You can watch the discussions on Oprah. You can go to a psychologist, hire a coach, or learn about them online. You can even chime in on the topic on blogs like mine. But have you ever seen what the attributes of an honorable life look like?

On December 7, 2007, I fell in love for the first time in almost twenty years, and I fell hard. Tears flooded my eyes and my mind raced as I looked upon the precious face of my first grandchild, Ava, and considered all she would behold in her lifetime and the important lessons she would learn. My role as her grandmother (I’m coaching her to call me Sugar) seemed a daunting one as I considered all my grandmother had been to me: my teacher, my playmate, my confidant, my spiritual advisor, my role model. How would I compare to the greatest Mammaw of all time? (But don’t call me Mammaw—I’m way too hip.)

For the first several weeks after Ava’s birth, I kept a list of the things that I hoped she would see in her lifetime. Although the list is long, it doesn’t include Disney World, Miley Cyrus, or the shoe department at Neiman’s. No. My list includes intangibles; intangibles that due to a change in our social fabric, our busy family lifestyles, or our lack of mindfulness or creativity, we fail to model for our children and grandchildren. And, unfortunately, since many of us were raised in not-so-perfect households, some of these same intangibles were not modeled for us.

So what are some of the things on my list that I want Ava to see?

timeless honor

selfless devotion

genuine respect

work/life balance

considerate inclusion

family traditions

mindful appreciation

working friendships

marriage partnerships

successful divorce

Successful divorce? Yep. There’s a lesson here for all of us.

Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts;let them proclaim your power. (Psalm 145:4)

Because children are always watching (and because teenagers never listen), we know for a fact that our actions speak louder than words. So let’s begin the important discussion as to how we, as sisters, aunts, godmothers, mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers, can model an honorable life for the next generation.