What Does It Look Like? - Genuine Respect

What Does It Look Like? - Genuine Respect

“DON’T USE THAT tone with me, young lady.” If there’s a female child in your life and she’s old enough to talk, there’s a good chance you’ve had the opportunity to use this line. If you haven’t—well, clearly she has not yet entered puberty.

Respect. Most of us expect our children to respect us. But can they define it? Do our children know what it means because we’ve shown them? Or do we simply demand it of them?

I define respect as an attitude of gratitude and the discipline of self-control. With the exception of a couple of hormonal outbursts when she was a preteen, our daughter, Shauna, has always been respectful. And now it’s my turn to return the favor. You see, genuine respect is a two-way street, and the respect I want Ava to see is the attitude of gratitude I have toward her parents. I had a good role model for this one; I know what it looks like because my Mammaw showed me.

As I’ve shared with you in previous Truth Nuggets, my mom struggled with substance abuse as the result of mental illness. As a child I idolized her, but as I grew older, her issues became a source of embarrassment for me. By the age of fifteen, my respect-o-meter had hit an all-time low.

Taking my grievances to my grandmother, I ranted and raved. But not once, not once, in all my years of Mom-bashing would Mammaw join in. My beautiful gray-haired grandmother would quietly listen and then remind me how much my mother loved me as she gently turned the conversation to a more positive topic. Mammaw modeled for me that respect is not only something a mother hopes to receive from her child but is something a mother also returns.

Let’s face it. We’re a critical bunch. Even if those in our family are highly honorable people, we still find fault with them. And, worse, we voice that displeasure in front of our wee ones.

Then keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies! Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. (Psalm 34:13-14)

Consider your words carefully. Do not use them to tear others down.