What Does It Look Like? - Genuine Respect (Part Deux)

What Does It Look Like? - Genuine Respect (Part Deux)

I KNOW THAT this topic cuts close to the bone for those of you who have been on the receiving end of negative comments from a parent or an in-law. You know firsthand the pain this inflicts, not only on you, but on your child. You’ve sat with your little one on your lap trying to explain why Grandma said those “mean words” about you. It’s hard. And confusing.

When anyone uses harsh or hurtful words toward you, particularly about the way you parent, you’re likely to be confused about your role and how you are to react. Negative talk about any family member completely undermines the philosophy of respect. Because some of you were hurt, you understand this intangible of genuine respect at a gut level, and most likely you model it well for the children you influence.

Every word out of our mouths has an impact on our children’s lives. Snide comments, hurtful teasing, and unreasonable criticism can destroy their respect for us as well. I heard a story not long ago from a lady who told me that her grown daughter had asked her teenage daughter why she was so angry toward her paternal grandmother. The teenager, even as a child, had always been distant and reserved with her grandmother, and the mother was hoping to inspire her to be more respectful. But the teenager came clean: “Mom, when I was little, Grandma would say the meanest things about you. I told her once, ‘Stop talking bad about my mommy.’ ”

Try spinning the philosophy of genuine respect to a teenager when something like this happened ten years ago. The teenager refused to discuss the topic of respecting her grandmother.

Those who control their tongue will have a long life;opening your mouth can ruin everything. (Proverbs 13:3)

Every word, every tone is either positive or negative. Nothing is neutral.