The Pushmi-pullyu Of Perfection - Perfect Parenting

The Pushmi-Pullyu of Perfection - Perfect Parenting

SIT UP STRAIGHT. Put your feet on the floor. Use your fork. Say please and thank you. Wait your turn. Tell the truth. Chew with your mouth closed. Do your homework. Be kind. Save your money. Say your prayers. Eat your veggies. Don’t interrupt. Don’t point. Don’t whine. Don’t smoke. Don’t judge. Don’t do drugs. Don’t say bad words.

Parenting—arrrgh, there’s nothing like it. The endless rules; the endless joys; the endless laundry; the endless laughter; the endless nights spent in prayer.

But did I miss something on the list? I thought my perfect parenting would lead to perfect kids—or at least fully functioning adults. What did I do wrong? Do you think you missed something on the list?

There are millions of mothers out there who, like us, did everything “right” but whose success rate is 50/50 or less. Their children—regardless of the amount of direction given and love dispensed—did not turn out to be enthusiastic contributors to society. Many of us share the burden of knowing that, despite our every effort to be perfect parents, our children failed to thrive.

During the years that Scott was missing, my pushmi-pullyu of perfect parenting drove me mad as I lay awake, night after night, wondering what I had done wrong. As I prayed into my pillow one night, a soft voice reassured me that my parenting was in every way complete; I had fulfilled with great enthusiasm and energy the calling of “mom”; I had embraced with my every fiber my children’s physical, emotional, and mental development. Christ told me that I could no more take credit for Shauna’s beautiful, honorable character than I could for Scott’s poor judgment. What I came to understand and finally accept was that the outcome is not controlled by me, but falls to a force called free will that is even stronger than the mightiest mom.

When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. (Ephesians 3:14-16)

If you hit a grand slam with your child rearing, count yourself lucky (but forfeit your pride); we’re cheering for you and your children as they round the bases. If you’re like me and still have one in the dugout, count yourself blessed. You, my girlfriends, have been blessed with humility; you are mothers who are living examples of tremendous faith; you are mothers who never give up; you are mothers who know not to judge; you are mothers who know to pray for other mothers’ kids without them even asking.