Our Secret Sauce, My Recipe - Four Parts Friendship (Part Deux)

Our Secret Sauce, My Recipe - Four Parts Friendship (Part Deux)

IN ADDITION to taking turns and using your kind voice, there are two other critical components of friendship that should be injected in every marriage: celebrating one another and holding hands.

Cheer enthusiastically. I love watching a good game of kickball being played by a group of third graders. As their teammate rounds the bases, they jump up and down like little jumping beans, arms waving enthusiastically, ready to congratulate the runner as she crosses home plate. What a celebration—you’d think the kids had won the gold medal at the Olympics! Do you and your husband celebrate one another?

Just as you have your doubts about your value and abilities, so does he. Even when he’s hitting on all cylinders and at the top of his game, he needs your support. He needs to know you’re in his cheering section, so, girlfriends, get your pom-poms out (uniform optional). Let him know that you believe in him and that you’re with him come rain or shine. Because sooner or later it will rain, and he has to know that your admiration is not conditional.

Hold hands. In kindergarten, I loved the buddy concept. Always an affectionate child, I loved getting to hold hands with someone. It made me feel connected. And so it is for your husband.

Reach for his hand, whether you’re sitting in your family room, in your place of worship, at the movie, in the car, at the restaurant, walking to the car, or walking from the car. Anytime, every time you are next to each other (this means the kids can’t be walking or sitting in between you—they should never do that; put them to each side), reach for his hand. Women often underestimate the power of touch and the importance of making the move to reach for your husband. Reaching for his hand is a quiet, simple gesture that tells him you care without your ever saying a word. It serves as a nice “I’m sorry” gesture too.

Instead, it is you—my equal,my companion and close friend.What good fellowship we once enjoyedas we walked together to the house of God. (Psalm 55:13-14)

As you’re cooking your secret sauce, make sure you begin with friendship. Show God how grateful you are for the man he gave you.