Our Secret Sauce, My Recipe - Did You Feed Frankie?

Our Secret Sauce, My Recipe - Did You Feed Frankie?

OUR FELINE FAMILY member, Maggie, passed away several years ago. It was a big loss, and replacing her seemed impossible. When we moved into a new home soon after, though, the neighborhood feral cat took up residence in our yard.

Steve and I were intrigued by Frankie (I named him Frankie because he looks like a “Frank”), but he had issues. He didn’t make eye contact, he wouldn’t allow us to pet him, and his social graces were deplorable. But we loved Frankie, so we fed him—every day, twice a day. Because he didn’t interact with us like a normal pet, Steve and I had to check with each other—“Did you feed Frankie?” We knew that neglect would surely kill the cat. Same goes for your relationship.

One of the most important ingredients in our secret sauce is our commitment to feed our relationship every day. Women and men both tell us they don’t have time to invest like this. Well, pay now or pay later, because you’ll have more time on your hands than you know what to do with in another ten years when the kids are gone! I’m not saying you have to have a two-hour conversation, every day, but you can invest meaningful minutes. You must connect. Someone has to feed Frankie!

Let’s give this a try today: call your honey and tell him you miss him. Yes, he might have to look at caller ID to be sure it’s you, but let him know that you are in serious like with him. Did you feed Frankie? He’s looking mighty hungry!

Or leave him a voice mail at the office and let him know you’re thinking about him and his “whatever” that’s going on at work (there’s always something). Did you feed Frankie? He seems stressed.

Maybe you could write him an e-mail and tell him you’re crazy, crazy in love with him; yes, for a minute he might think you’re just plain crazy. But feed Frankie!

Then do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. Okay. Close this book and do it now. Then come back for step number two.

Good job, girlfriend! Now, try this:

Set your alarm thirty minutes early. Share a cup of coffee together before the kids are up or before either of you run out the door for work. Now you’re really feeding Frankie—he might even start purring!

Take a vacation day during the middle of the week. Have friends pick up the kids from school. Spend the day having lunch, hanging out at a park, and maybe . . . just maybe . . . you might even spend some “bedroom” time in the middle of the day! The cat might die of shock, but oh, he’ll be happy!

Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. (Song of Songs 8:6)