One Breath Away From Burnout - An Exhausted Heart

One Breath Away from Burnout - An Exhausted Heart

SOME OF YOU will be able to relate when I say, “He wears me out.”

It’s hard to admit, but sometimes we come to the end of our rope with family. Parents, spouses, siblings, or kids drain the life out of us, which results in relational burnout and an exhausted heart. So what’s often the driving force behind our burnout with the people we love the most? Control.

Picture a little girl running on the beach with her kite. She has great expectations for how her kite will soar. She runs fast, pitching the kite of relationship into the air and up, up, and away it goes! She’s thrilled. But after a period of time, the wind takes a turn and the little girl must focus hard, strategize, and manipulate the string to keep her kite flying. After a while, flying the kite becomes a lot more work than fun. I think many of us are little girls who need to let go of the string.

Trying so hard to control the “state of their union,” my girlfriend burned out. Her marriage dissolved before her eyes. Regardless of how many times she told her husband what she wanted from him, he couldn’t seem to deliver. She knew she was on her last breath when she began using Google to search for divorce attorneys. Her arms were tired and her heart was exhausted from attempting to control her husband’s actions, desires, and commitment.

Some of us fly the kite of control when it comes to our children. Investing all her energies to ensure her daughter made the honor roll and the cheerleading squad, a mom I know suffered from an exhausted heart when her daughter rebelled. “I don’t know what happened. She’s nothing like she was as a child. I gave her everything and did everything I could for her.” She knew she was on her last breath when her eighteen-year-old daughter left home, yelling, “I’m not coming back” as she slammed the front door behind her. The mom was distraught and heartbroken that her kite wouldn’t sail.

I know all about flying the kite of relationship because I’m a master at tugging on the strings. Like my two girlfriends, I also watched my kite crash as I tried to control my son’s addiction and recklessness. At one point during Scott’s rehabilitation, his promises of sobriety morphed into a tangled web of lies, leaving me, again, with a totally exhausted heart. I knew I was on my last breath when I realized I was working harder for his sobriety than he was.

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

How are your kite-flying abilities? Are your arms tired too?