If They Weren’t The Cleavers - She Wasn’t Exactly June

If They Weren’t the Cleavers - She Wasn’t Exactly June

I WAS ALWAYS a bit embarrassed by my family. Oh, not that my father was old enough to be my grandfather—au contraire! The man treated me like his little princess! What did I think of him serving as a room mother? How cool! Instead of cupcakes for our class party or event, he brought homemade chili! Yes, the man was Ward in the flesh.

But Mom wasn’t exactly June; she would have been better suited for a role on ER! We never knew exactly what was coming next at our house, since Mom suffered from bipolar disorder. In those days it was diagnosed as manic depression, and let me tell you, the manic episodes were way interesting. I never learned if it was her personality or the disease that caused her to be self-absorbed, easily angered, manipulative, and thoughtless, but I went from walking on eggshells as a child to stomping on them as a teenager. By the time I was thirty I had become an angry, judgmental, full-blown nonhonoring daughter. But thanks to maturity and honest reflection on my own shortcomings as a mother (yes, girlfriends—we make mistakes too) I came to realize something important: she didn’t pick this role, nor did I. We’d have to deal with it together. Mom wasn’t perfect.

During my period of self-examination, two things occurred to me: first, I realized that I’m a better person due to the challenges I faced as a child, and later as a teenager. Had I grown up in a home without drama, I’m sure I would have become a self-absorbed spoiled brat! The second thing I realized was that regardless of my position as the child, it was my responsibility now to act like the grown-up. No, it doesn’t exactly seem fair.

Mom made some really bad choices; things which made it difficult for me to honor her. But the fifth commandment, “Honor your father and mother,” has a period at the end—not a disclaimer. It took much prayer and years of wrestling with God for me to allow him to soften my heart.

God provided no disclaimers and Moses didn’t edit:

Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)

Stop making excuses for your inability to follow this commandment. Two wrongs don’t make a right.