If They Weren’t The Cleavers - June Vacuums, Ward Reads The Paper

If They Weren’t the Cleavers - June Vacuums, Ward Reads the Paper

YOUR MOTHER is a pessimist.

Your father is a narcissist.

June vacuums in her pearls (what’s that all about?), and

Ward hides behind the paper.

Some things are not going to change. Specifically, your parents are not going to change. Why? Because there was likely too much baggage left on their personal doorstep by their own parents. Too much “stuff” has happened to these people—primarily, their abusive or absent or controlling parents! But you can change. Am I suggesting that you lower your expectations of your family? Absolutely. They will never live up to your definition of what you need today or what you required yesterday.

When your parents are still very much in your life and display destructive tendencies toward themselves and others, it can drive you nutso. But let me ask . . . what if you knew the source of their pain, their addiction, or their other issues? Would you be more kind? Would you be more patient? Could you be more tolerant?

As my grown cousins and I sat and visited one day, we developed a fascinating theory as to why my mother and their father grew into such dishonorable people. Among their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and a slew of cousins, they were an anomaly. Everyone else was totally normal (well, mostly). But this theory, which I’ll briefly explain tomorrow, gave us all some comfort that they didn’t wake up each day with hate in their heart for no good reason.

Like us, you may never learn with certainty the underlying cause of your parents’ issues. Because many of them came from a generation that does not share or divulge family secrets, they may take their nightmares to their grave. Knowing that might not make you feel better about your childhood—it certainly doesn’t change the fact that you were mistreated—but it might help you be more tolerant. And maybe it will help you begin your healing.

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. (Ephesians 3:16-17)

Are you willing to consider there might be more to their story?