Getting A Do-over - I Would Have Had More Babies

Getting a Do-Over - I Would Have Had More Babies

I THOUGHT I knew my girlfriend Sarah* pretty well; goodness, we’ve been girl buddies for nearly fifteen years. But I laughed out loud when she wrote me that her do-over would have been to have had more kids. I literally cracked up! This is the most professionally driven woman I know. Focused and direct, she’s a take-no-prisoners kind of gal, and even though she’s a terrific mother, I just couldn’t believe that this do-over was the one coming out of her mouth!

So I had to call her, and Sarah said, “No, really. If I could do one thing over, I would have had one or maybe even two more children.”

Sarah explained that having children when she was in her twenties and while she and her husband were building their careers seemed overwhelming. Even though she hails from a family of five children and her husband from a family of six, managing two kiddos while juggling two demanding careers seemed insane at the time. So talk of a third or fourth was out of the question. Not that they don’t love children—they do—it’s just that the timing to procreate seemed to collide with ten-hour workdays.

Now that her babies are in their midtwenties, what does Sarah know today that she didn’t know when she was younger?

First, she said it was too easy to coddle her children. Kids from smaller families struggle more with sharing with other kids and fail to embrace the concept of delayed gratification.

Second, it was too easy to play to their impatience. Children from smaller families often have fewer experiences dealing with children of different ages or with larger groups of kids.

Sarah also sees now that it was too easy to let them off the hook. When Sarah observes families with four or more children in public, she sees kids who seem more well behaved, helpful to their siblings, and willing to entertain themselves.

Finally, she says she found it too easy to “assist” her children. Sarah recalls that during her childhood, her parents couldn’t help every child with homework, practice, and other responsibilities the way she could help her two kids with the same challenges. By necessity, children from larger families had to do more things for themselves and, even more importantly, for others.

Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. (Colossians 4:2)

Are you on the fence about adding to your crew? You have to admit, Sarah makes some good points. But before moving ahead, I’d pray for guidance (and a whole lot of patience)!

*Sarah is not her real name, but she is megasuccessful in both her professional and personal life.