Getting A Do-over - I Would Have Apologized Less

Getting a Do-Over - I Would Have Apologized Less

AS I MENTIONED BEFORE, I would do lots of things differently. I love my life and have few regrets, but I think it’s imperative that we reflect on those philosophies we once had or the things we once did to congratulate ourselves for “passing over” to maturity; for embracing our experiences and hard-gained wisdom. So I’ll close this chapter with one more of my do-overs:

I would have been a more honest person. I would have apologized less.

As a young woman, I literally railroaded myself trying to please everyone and keep peace. I apologized for things I couldn’t control; I apologized for things that others accused me of that I didn’t do or didn’t know I did; I apologized for introducing an issue or concern that needed to be addressed. And worst of all, I apologized for telling the truth. And in every one of those instances, I lied.

I admire the young women in my life who approach difficult situations with confidence, integrity, and authenticity. I watch them navigate difficult conversations and am in awe of their ability to express their voice, unapologetically and with honesty. I am clearly a late bloomer.

Only in the past few years have I come to the place where I can express my opinion with self-assurance—without the need for disingenuous blabber. If I could have this as a do-over, I believe my credibility as a woman, a professional, a mother, and a friend would be much stronger today.

“Run up and down every street in Jerusalem,” says the LORD. “Look high and low; search throughout the city! If you can find even one just and honest person, I will not destroy the city.” (Jeremiah 5:1)

Quick survey: what did you apologize for yesterday that was outside your control? See?