Crossroads - At the Intersection of Resentment and Forgiveness (Part Deux)

Crossroads - At the Intersection of Resentment and Forgiveness (Part Deux)

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. —Harriet Beecher Stowe

AS CONNIE CONTINUED to withhold forgiveness through the years, her own kids were amazed that their mom—so giving and so forgiving of others—held on to bitterness with both hands when it came to their grandmother.

But as Alzheimer’s besieged her once-healthy mom, Connie’s heart began to soften. Her mom, who still recognized Connie, was comforted by having her only child be her caregiver. Still, the important words had not been said. Finally, Connie found herself sitting at the corner of resentment and forgiveness for the last time.

As her mother lay on her deathbed in a deep comatose state, Connie sent her family from her mother’s room. She laid her head upon her mother’s pillow and whispered softly in her mother’s ear, “Will you forgive me?” Against all odds, Connie’s mom, never opening her eyes, squeezed her daughter’s hand.

Isn’t it interesting that for sixty-five years, Connie’s mom sought her forgiveness, but in the end it was Connie who asked for hers? Connie realized that she had sacrificed years of incredible joys and celebrations in order to harbor her hurt, feed her pain, and try to right a wrong from so long ago.

Connie mourned her mother’s death, but her tears were not bitter—she had made peace with her mom, and herself. But as this wise and precious woman sat across from me at our table in the restaurant, her tears flowed with regret for the years wasted.

Are there words you need to say? Is there forgiveness you need to extend . . . or to request?

So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (2 Corinthians 5:16-17)

Girlfriends, turn on your blinker. Stop feeding your pain and extend grace. Don’t waste the last precious years you have with someone by clutching your hurt like it’s a priceless treasure. The treasure you lose will be all that you might have enjoyed together.