Crossroads - At The Intersection Of Cynicism And Trust

Crossroads - At the Intersection of Cynicism and Trust

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. —Oscar Wilde

I MET A WOMAN named Petey under the strangest of circumstances. She and I call it a “God wink,” after a book written by Squire Rushnell. His theory is that some coincidences and chance meetings are just too bizarre not to be divinely appointed.

Steve and I met Petey and her husband, Jim, while we were shopping for a condo in downtown Dallas. We had been on the hunt for a while and had finally decided to take the plunge. We were ready to place our deposit on a unit in a soon-to-be state-of-the-art commercial and residential building on the east end of downtown. While waiting for our sales representative, we introduced ourselves to another couple (Jim and Petey) who were excitedly fidgeting with a tape measure.

“Yes!” Petey replied to my question if they were considering purchasing. “We’ll be neighbors! Which unit did you buy?” she asked. I took her to the scaled model, flipped on the light in the dollhouse-sized building, and she blinked. “That’s our unit,” she said. Hmmm. . . . Clearly, the sales team had made an error. We walked away without the unit but kept Jim and Petey as very dear friends.

Jim and Petey are like peas and carrots. Just as Steve balances me, so Jim provides the sea of calm to Petey’s hyperactive mind and body. Their interests and values are perfectly aligned. I had assumed they had been married for thirty years. But you know what they say about assumptions. . . .

As Petey shared with me her story of true love, I learned that Petey almost missed the turn onto the road of marriage bliss. Her first young marriage failed when her husband revealed he was gay. Union number two dissolved when she refused to succumb to any more verbal and mental abuse. Number three—yes, that’s three, count ’em—failed when her husband refused to treat his mental disorder. So you can see why Petey might not have wanted to turn onto the road of trust. Cynicism could have been a much easier right-hand turn for this intelligent, self-made, beautiful woman.

But testing this love (and Jim) through a five-year courtship resulted in a marriage made in heaven. Petey’s wise discernment was coupled with a trusting heart.

O LORD, listen to my cry;give me the discerning mind you promised. (Psalm 119:169)

Have you been burned by a bad relationship? Are you afraid to trust again? I was a lot like Petey, and my Steve had a lot of convincing to do for me, too. But in the end, like Petey, I had to turn on the blinker. Thank God for the gift of a discerning mind.