God In The Depths

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.” (Psalm 139:7-8, NIV)

The psalmist writes that even in the depths—the Hebrew word Sheol, the realm of the dead, the darkest place imaginable—God is there. There is no place so far, so dark, so shattered that God cannot reach. Which means that even though spiritual abuse and trauma may have sent you into one of the darkest places within—none of it puts you beyond his presence.

When I went into the depths and acknowledged the dark places inside, it took me a while, but I realized that God never left. Though it sometimes felt like I was leaving him, leaving my faith, or collapsing into despair—he was there. When I warred against my faith, pulled away from others, and spiraled in my mind—he was there. When I couldn’t feel his presence, my soul, or anything related to my faith—he was there.

You may have been told, implicitly or explicitly, that you should pray more, read more, bypass the painful places inside, forgive, and get back to your faith. It seems counterintuitive but acknowledging where you really are is where restoration begins. Rushed or forced healing isn’t healing—it’s pretending to be somewhere you’re not. And we can’t be where we are not; if we try to be, we will leave parts of our unhealed story behind. You are allowed to be here.

God’s presence is still there in the doubts, grief, and anger. You don’t have to climb out of this dark place to experience him. He is already in the depths with you.

Moment to Reflect

• Where have you been told—explicitly or implicitly—that you should be further along in your faith or healing? How has that pressure affected you?
• What would it mean today to believe that God is already in the depths with you—not waiting for you to climb back up?

Simple Prayer

God, I’m in the depths right now. I’m not where I thought I’d be. But if the psalmist is right—if you are even there—then be there with me today. Extend your presence, right here, in the dark. Amen.