Remember When - Loving (and Liking) Your Spouse for Life

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” (Proverbs 18:22, NIV)

When I was in high school, I enjoyed titles like cheerleader, honors student, yearbook writer, and youth group leader. But there was one title that I didn’t like: dateless. No “MRS” degree earned in college either. As the years rolled by, I said many prayers to meet Mr. Right. In graduate school, a student named James flipped my hamburger at new student orientation. I saw him again at Toastmasters (the public speaking club) and at the nursing home outreach. I was smitten, but to my dismay, we were just friends.

Just when I had given up hope, James started to see me in a new light. He took me out for dessert with a red and yellow rose hidden in his jacket. “The yellow rose symbolizes our friendship,” he said. “With this red rose, I want to see if there could be more.”

We’ve been married for more than 27 years with three children, so there was definitely more! No doubt you have a tender and “way to go God” story of how you met and married your spouse. But like the Israelites, we can forget God’s blessings. We can forget the goodness of God. We can focus instead on our spouse’s shortcomings. Social media has trained us to compare–and often despair. From chatbots to news, sports to shopping, there are many online distractions which make us inattentive to our spouses.

Is your spouse more interesting than your phone? Probably not because your phone is programmed to show you unique, insanely interesting things 24 hours a day. It never tires or asks anything of you.

But is your phone more important than your spouse? We must remember there is no other human (or technology) in the whole world who is more important than our spouse. We leave our families of origin and cleave to our spouse to become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). When you bless your spouse, you bless yourself too!

So today, take time to remember when.

Remember how your stomach jumped when your future spouse walked in the room.

Remember those long walks holding hands while talking about anything and everything.

Remember how grateful you were to meet the love of your life.

When you start to feel bored or critical of your relationship, tell yourself to give thanks instead. Remember when you were first dating and what qualities attracted you in the first place. Chances are, those qualities are still there. Practice Philippians 4:8 and think of what is noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy in your spouse.

Prayer:

Lord, You have been so faithful. I pause to remember Your goodness and plan for my life and family. Thank You for my spouse. Help me to remember what a blessing my husband or wife is and to show appreciation today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.