Fear

Fear

I’m afraid you won’t do what I expected, God. Give me your peace.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. Isaiah 41:10

Once in a while the leader’s fear is pure panic or demoralizing dread. But for most leaders most of the time, fear is not immobilizing terror; it is nagging anxiety, wondering if things will work out the way it seems they should. It is basically fear of failure.

I’VE TOLD you many times what my heart longs for, God. I want all our research and planning, our hopes and dreams, our extra work and sacrifices, our prayers, and our sincere motives to produce a great result. I want us to succeed.

I want us to reach the goal we set; I want us to exceed it! I want all these people to share the roaring ecstasy of success. I want them to gain confidence and believe in themselves and in the way we went about it.

Most of all, I want them to believe in you. I want people to say, “Wow! That is amazing. Look what God did there!” I want people to praise you for this accomplishment because they know that I am trying to do what you want.

But I wonder if you are going to do it.

I talked with you about this all along the way, and I did my best to understand what you wanted us to do. Still, I worry that you might do something else, something unexpected. You know that I do not want anything less than your best for me and for the organization. But what will happen if this fails?

Maybe you have lessons you need to teach me through failure. Maybe the process is more important than the outcome. Maybe this is just a small part of something much bigger that is not yet apparent. Maybe success will lead to problems I cannot foresee.

I do not fear the odds or the competition; I trust your power. I am not afraid you will hurt me; I trust your goodness and wisdom. I am more afraid of embarrassment. I am afraid of failing. That will make me feel stupid, God, and others will doubt me.

If this fails, maybe I need to step aside. Maybe you are signaling that we need somebody else to lead. Do not let this fail because of me. Get me out of the way if you have to, God, but let these people know success.

You are my God, this is your work, and I know you care about our success or failure. I will give you my fear if you will give me your peace. I admit . . .

I’m afraid you won’t do what I expect, God. Give me your peace.

Reflections

The beginning of leadership wisdom is the fear of the Lord, the acknowledgment that although we can never control or even predict what God does, we must lead anyway.

Jesus told his disciples to get into a boat and row through the night to the other side of the great lake. They did exactly as he instructed and almost immediately were hit by such a windstorm that they were essentially stalled.

Exhausted in the middle of their all-night catastrophe, the disciples were scared witless when Jesus suddenly appeared, walking toward them like a ghost on the water. Peter nearly drowned when Jesus invited him, too, to walk on the water. After all the trouble, Jesus calmed the very storm that had prevented the disciples from doing what he had told them to do!

When God gives us a goal, we naturally expect him to help us succeed, not send a storm to block us. We row like mad all night, trying to get to the goal on the distant shore, little contemplating that God might meet us on the way.

Following God is not always a neat and tidy achievement. It is often a humbling—even fearful—confrontation of the unexpected and the uncontrolled. Leadership has to do with trusting God’s great purposes in the lives of those who act. The ones who slept on the shore that night missed the whole adventure!