Broken Pieces

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” (Romans 12:12, ESV)

“What have I done?” That’s the question I asked myself six months into our blended family life. None of us were happy. My son, Ben, and my new husband, Robbie, were in constant conflict over everything—dinner menu, television programs, schedules, you name it.

My daughter, Katherine, was skeptical of this new guy we called “Daddy.” Even though she was only three, she didn’t want any form of affection—no hugs, cuddling, tickling, holding hands. She pushed Robbie away ferociously, and he was confused and dejected.

My new teenage stepson, Seth, was grieving the loss of all he knew—his mom, who died of cancer, a new way of life with younger siblings (who wouldn’t stop going into his room), and even a new school and house (because they moved in with me).

I wondered, Maybe we were all better off before. Maybe you feel that way, too.

Blended stepfamilies are, by definition, broken. Whether you got here by death like my husband and me, divorce, or some other broken road, blended families always form out of tragedy. But that doesn’t mean your life can’t be beautiful. Someone once said, “We are all broken. That’s how the light gets in.”

I often compare people in a broken family to a beautiful pitcher that’s been smashed into tiny pieces. That pitcher will never be the same. It will never hold water like it was originally made to do. But perhaps God didn’t intend that pitcher to hold water, but to have a different purpose.

When you give the broken pieces of your life to the Master Artist, he carefully places each one into a mosaic and creates a beautiful work of art that reflects His glory.

Right now, it might seem like your heart is shattered into a million pieces, but let me encourage you not to give up until the Master Artist has time to do His work. I can’t promise everyone will eventually be happy. Not even biological families have that guarantee. But I can promise if you follow Christ and obey His word, you can trust Him to make “everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

It was hard, but our family chose to hang on and trust God with our future. We eventually built a house where all of us could have a part and called it Havilah, named after a land in Eden. This land is described in Genesis 2:11 as filled with gold and other treasures. But the Hebrew meaning of the word havilah is “to writhe in pain” and “to bring forth.” It’s the idea of something beautiful that comes through pain, like childbirth. And like blended families.

Life isn’t always going to be easy, but that’s a good thing. Many wonderful and beautiful results come from difficulty—pressure creates diamonds; irritations create pearls; intense fire purifies gold. God has something beautiful in store for your family. Don’t give up before you see the results.

Prayer: God, sometimes I feel like my family is a failure. I often wonder if I married the right person or if I should have married at all. But here I am. Give me your grace and reassure my heart that with you anything is possible, even the happiness of my blended stepfamily home. In Jesus’ name, Amen.